Chew your food 20 times before swallowing! Understand?
[The second Sunday in May is Mother's Day. So we present the second half of "Mother."]
[Thank you, Mom! We will be happy. Illustration by: Hideaki Sorachi]
["Don't Make Munching Noises When You Eat"]
We're delighted to welcome you to host club Takamagahara.
I am one of the club's top three, Shin.
I am Gin. Just do it.
Gura. Fuu!
What?
You've got guts. Come here.
Though, I'd rather be served by some pretty ladies.
Excuse...
...me.
Huh? Gin-sa--
Ma'am? Oh my, drunk already, fuu?
No, the old lady hasn't drunk anything yet.
Hey Shin, take the old...
...er, madam, over there and let her rest. Just do it.
Okay. Even if it costs me my life.
How troublesome. But never mind.
Kyoshiro-han, let's get back...
to what we were talking about.
Something to drink?
Shochu and water, 7 and 3. Now, getting back to...
Is that shochu 3 or water 3?
[Shochu and water 7:3] [Note: the entire gag is about the homonym "san" which can mean the number 3 or a name title.]
[Shochu 3]
Shochu. Now getting back to...
[Water 3]
Shochu 3?
That's shochu 3. Now getting back to...
Shochu-san, what will you have?
[Shochu-san]
My name is not Shochu-san!
Well, I want shochu san but that san isn't "-san"
but "three" as in three parts shochu, seven parts water. Okay?
Okay. Even if it costs me my life.
That'll never become popular.
Though you've been pushing it! It's irritating, so stop it!
Getting back to our discussion. This is getting tedious, so I'll be frank.
If you don't want...to see your friends hurt, accept our demands.
It's not a bad offer, don't you think? It's very simple.
You charm stupid women with your sweet talk
and our tough guys drive away the stupid men.
We'll split the profits exactly 70-30.
Everybody's happy.
I told you before.
Neither I, nor Hachiro have any intention of using the services of people like you.
We survive in this town on our own strength, and we've come this far.
We have no intention of changing that.
Oh... Then you don't care what happens to your...
Hey, come on. That hurts! And that's annoying me!
If you don't have a lighter, use this.
My, that's nice. Is it a present?
It's heavy. It's like we're a couple. I can't accept it.
I didn't give it to you. Use it to give me a light!
Don't use it with a flint stone!
Oh, what've you done? This was expensive, you know.
Kyoshiro-san! Don't worry about me! Don't do what they want!
We've lived through Hell and even changed our faces!
Hachiro...
Quiet.
But no matter what, we decided to walk on our own, to live in this town...
our own way!
You've got some nerve.
All right, then I'll show you just how scary it is to live in this town.
Stop it!
It's too late now. I have to draw the line.
I'll show you just how more serious...I am than you!
Stop it!
Say, did you know?
When a samurai draws the line, he slits his belly.
I'm not ready to do that, so I wouldn't really know, though.
Wh-Who are you?
What the hell are you doing?!
I have an order for three Dom Perignino!
Okay. Even if it costs me my life.
Ah, just do it!
Things don't go that easily in this world.
A text message, eh?
It's Meru-chan. Meru-chan became a mom while I was away!
She gave birth? Congratulations.
Congratulations, nothing, moron!
I can't stay here. We're leaving right now!
R-Right!
Remember this, people!
We won't be this easy on you the next time we meet!
Thank you very much.
You put us through a lot of trouble.
But I can't let a son get killed right in front of his mother's eyes.
Son?
Don't play dumb.
Gin-chan, we have a problem!
The old lady... The old lady is nowhere to be found!
What? How about in the bathroom?
No.
Maybe those guys grabbed her.
Mom!
Mom?
I see. So that guy was the Odd Jobs above Otose's shop.
That means Kyoshiro hired them to oppose me.
It'll be trouble if we go up against Otose.
I heard our Big boss is in love with that old lady.
Isn't that in the past?
I heard she didn't talk to him for more than ten years
because he was late passing around the neighborhood notebook.
Ah! Aniki! Did you see the way the puppies move? They're like plush toys!
I told you not to speak so loud!
Meru-chan is in her most fragile state right now.
What? Another one came out.
Calm down!
But this pup isn't breathing!
What? Hey what is this? What's going on? What should we do?!
Please, Aniki! Do something. I can't take this.
I can't take it either.
Men shouldn't panic!
If you don't pull yourselves together, who's going to look after this pup?!
A man has to be strong at times like this!
I-I'm sorry.
You there! Get me a clean washcloth! A clean one, now!
Right!
Brought it!
Old lady. How is he, old lady? Will he live?
Will Meru-chan's baby live?
It cried. It's alive!
It's a miracle.
Thank you, old lady. Thank you so much.
Forget it. Take good care of it now.
I will.
Old lady, what're you doing here?
I heard you said something about someone giving birth.
In times like this, nothing gets done if a mother isn't around.
That's so true.
That's true.
That's not true!
Who are you, old lady?
Mother.
Hachiro's mother.
Hachiro... That Hachiro?
Hachiro Kuroita.
Hachiro Kuroita?
Hachiro Kuroita... I've heard that name before.
Big boss!
Sakata-san. Sakata-san!
Hachiro-san! How'd it go? Did you find Mom?
I had no luck.
Neither did I.
It's not only Mom, but I lost contact with Kyoshiro. He left the club to chase after her.
Crap!
Because of this, we were completely fooled.
None of us imagined that Kyoshiro-san was the old lady's son.
He's changed so much. Not even his mother or the Buddha would recognize him.
And you, dressed like that and calling yourself Hachiro.
It'd be strange if we didn't think you were her son.
Lies, exaggerations, confusion! I'm calling JARO.
[Note: JARO stands for the Japan Advertising Review Organization]
That was your own mistake.
But first of all, I'm not a son.
I may not look it, but I'm a former daughter.
I'm a trannie. Hachiro is my professional name.
My real name is Hanako.
Hanako...
What?
Hanako...?
Yes.
Hanako is...
Hachiro and...
Hachiro is...
Hanako?!
Yes.
But why didn't Kyoshiro-san say anything to his mother?
Is it because now they are like strangers to each other?
Kyoshiro-san has been supposedly sending his money home to his mother for five years.
He wanted to see her more than anyone.
To make it to the top in this town, you need more than just appearances.
It's embarrassing to say, but we're all people who can't face our parents.
Yes?
Hello. Kyoshiro-san? It's Katsuo.
That old lady who was at your place...
For some reason, she just followed us on her own.
We don't know what to do with her.
She kept saying "I'm Hachiro's mother, I'm Hachiro's mother."
What should we do with her? Can we just get rid of her?
If you don't want that to happen, come get her right away.
If you dawdle, there's no telling what we might do to her.
Got that, Hachiro Kuroita-han?
Over here, over here, Kyoshiro-han. I mean, Hachiro-han.
I was surprised when the Big boss told me.
I understand your real name is Hachiro Kuroita.
Where is she?!
Don't worry. She's a valuable hostage.
We haven't done anything to her.
I'll keep the fact that you're her son under wraps.
We yakuza act according to our principles.
But I don't understand why you're so desperate to hide that.
I've gone so bad, there's no saving me.
I could never face my mother. But you're different.
You're the top host in this town. The most successful.
You should proudly stand before your mother.
What am I going to face her with?
I've gotten rid of the face my mother knows.
In exchange for pushing my way to the top, I've thrown away being Hachiro.
You can call me the top host, but that's just a title.
I live here in the same town as you.
I do the same sort of dirty things.
No, no, you're a fine fellow.
You're the first guy who's refused our demands and stuck to his guns.
Even if that does end as of today.
Huh?
What's that money for?
This is everything I own.
But I used a lot in expanding my club, so there's not much left.
What? You're still putting up a fight? We don't want such trifles.
We want you to let us run your club!
I have pride in my work as a host.
That's why I can't accept your demands,
and why I have no intention of submitting to you in front of my mother.
You...!
A host's job is to make women happy.
That's why I absolutely cannot do anything that would make women,
who are the most precious things in this world, unhappy.
What?! You mean you don't care what happens to your mom?
Kyoshiro-han. You're quite dauntless.
Just as I would have expected of the top host.
Truth is, I don't like being too pushy.
But I don't have a choice since the Big boss is desperate
to develop more sources of money.
Since the Amanto arrived, the yakuza have changed.
But with that money, I might be able to convince the Big boss.
I'll let you go today in deference to your 7:3-parted hair and your dauntlessness.
I'll release Mom after that.
What the?!
Guys like him don't deserve your money.
Use it to treat your mother to something delicious.
You're...!
I'm not very good with machines.
This isn't looking good! Let's get out of here.
Just - do it! Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
What crazy people. I can't distinguish them from the yakuza.
Hey, that's enough. Or this old lady gets...
This old lady gets...
I've got the old lady, fuu.
No you don't!
You fool! Don't underestimate me!
It's unmanly to chase after a woman who left you, fuu-fuu.
Ouch.
What kind of one-sided interpretation is that?
Were you sent by that old lady Otose or something?
Ouch.
You think you can go up against our Gutter Rat Gang in this town and stay alive?
You fool!
If you make an enemy of...
Boss Jirocho, you'll...
A clean hit!
Uh-oh... I feel dizzy...
What did this old lady eat?
I mustn't let go. Tough it out.
What're you blushing for?!
I don't give a damn if you're gutter rats or lab rats.
Don't go bothering the mice who've pushed their way through the gutter mud, desperately trying...
to make a living.
Meru-chan!
Aniki!
Boss?
Let them go. Let them go.
We don't have enough lives to take these guys on. If we...
back out now, I'm sure Big boss would understand.
But...!
As Gutter Rats, we live by our rules.
I never fail when returning a debt of gratitude.
I borrow 7, I'll return 3.
The same goes for revenge. If I take 3, I'll give back 7. Remember that.
Kyoshiro's doing as well as ever.
Did you hear? Kyoshiro-san never did identify himself to his mother after all.
Remember! You boil that pumpkin in soy sauce and broth!
Come on! How many times are you going to tell me the same thing?!
Don't raise your voice! You're always trying to trip me up!
He says he still hasn't become a man who can meet her with his head held high.
Even though he hasn't done a single thing to be ashamed of.
That's so true.
I know him. I know how pure a heart he has.
I've been at his side watching him, all this time.
Hachiro-san.
This odd box was left at the door.
Remember! You mustn't over-boil it! It'll turn mushy! Just enough!
Come on! How many times are you going to tell me the same thing?!
Don't raise your voice! You're always trying to trip me up!
Oh, Kyoshiro-san!
What's this?
Just a minute! We didn't order this!
Why're you smiling?
It's our special service.
Remember! Chew your food well!
Come on! How many times are you going to tell me the same thing?!
It's the first time I've said that! You're not going to trick me!
What is this? Who wants something so lame?
Kyoshiro-san wouldn't eat something like this.
Okay, then, I'm leaving. After I'm gone, make sure you lock up!
It's dangerous, these days.
Come on! Hurry up and leave!
See you, old lady. Sweet dreams.
You too, brat!
See you, then.
Uh! Mom...
I'm sorry we couldn't help you, after all.
What're you talking about?
[To Hachiro, From Mother]
You did let me see him.
Dear Hachiro,
First of all, you're still not very good with chopsticks.
I've told you to fix that. Mother is quite concerned.
And another thing, don't make munching noises when you eat.
It really irritates Mother.
And finally... I don't know the details, but...
Mother is just happy to know you're doing well.
No matter what happens,
your mother will always be proud of you.
Mom...
That annoying woman is finally gone.
Now I know that a Mom is nothing if not annoying.
True.
I agree.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
["Keep an Eye on the Chief for the Day"]
Damn! It's a raid!
Run!
Too!
I-It's the Shinsengumi!
Shichiro Kiyokawa,
you're under arrest for the bombing of the Planet Kinmoku Embassy,
murder of Shogunate officials and destruction of a coffee shop.
You're the ones who busted up the coffee shop!
What's going on?
It's the Shinsengumi!
The Shinsengumi's at it again!
[The Shinsengumi's At It Again]
Oh...
Tsu Terakado won the New Singer Award at the Edo CD Grand Prix.
Amazing.
Not that. The article above it.
Oh... Serial kidnappings of women, eh? How frightening.
But Otae-san is safe for sure.
Not that. The article to the right.
Oh... Sogo did it again, eh? You take the responsibility, okay?
No, no. It's your fault.
All crimes result from vulnerabilities in your heart!
It's something you could say about both those
who commit crimes and those who are its victims, wouldn't you say?
What I want to say is that depending on your mental attitude
you can prevent a crime before it happens.
What I want to say is:
don't get into too festive a mood just because it's spring!
That's what I want to say!
However, it's darn near impossible for us to protect the peace
in Edo without everyone's cooperation!
Listen to me, everyone!
At this time when everyone is in a festive mood,
we need to lock down and beware of terrorists! That's right!
What's the matter? You have no spirit. Come on, shout out!
In this festive time, we need to lock down and beware of terrorists! Sell your kidneys!
Sell your kidneys, dammit!
Good afternoon.
I'm Chief of the Shinsengumi for a day, Tsu Terakado!
Everybody! Don't get carried away by the festive mood just because it's spring.
Elephant turds are huge!
They're huge!
I will do all I can to protect the peace in Edo today.
Help me out, okay? Cat poop smells awful!
Awful!
Okay, then, listen to this song!
"Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!"
[Note: Translated as "Eat Shit, You Bleeping Pigs!" And chome = bleep]
Toshi, I'm glad we invited her, after all. Neapolitan.
Hell no! Rocky III "The Flames of Friendship"!
[Note: It was actually the Japan release version of Rocky IV that had the additional title "Flames of Friendship"]
Chome Chome Chome Chome Ko!
Poli Poli Poli Poli Eat it!
Chome Chome Chome Chome Ko!
Poli Poli Poli Poli Poli Poli!
Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!
[Note: "Bleeping Pigs Eat Shit!"]
[To improve the Shinsengumi's image, Otsu-chan becomes Chief for a day.]
[Otsu's new song, "Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!" was produced by "Tsunpo"!]
Continued Use of Excessive Force
"Mission" No Longer Reason Enough